viva senza timore

walking is soothing

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 07:43:30 PST

when it gets cold outside
and you got nobody to love
you'll understand what i mean when i say
theres no way we're gunna give up
and like a little gurl cries
in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
is there any one out there
cause its getting harder and harder to breathe
is there any one out there
cause its getting harder and harder to breathe

hey uhh i dont know really know what to write about it just feels as if writing is something
that i should probably do at the moment. so here i am updating. and talking to bob. i really
wish that i could help but im dumb and i cant. okay heres something people need to wake
up and realize.. everything happens for a reason. (thats one thing) and another thing..
nothing will happen unless you help make it happen and if you tell yourself that something
is impossible and that you cant do something then of course your not going to be able to
do what ever that is. ::sigh:: any who... today was very not interesting. took a walk.. bob
walked with me it was cool. finally got the time to talk to him : ) ::sigh:: i had a newspaper
meeting during lunch and we got domino's pizza. me and ryan.. -once again- ate a whole
pizza together.. hah i think people are starting to get pissed at us. well i gotta jet i need
to find something to do. laters.

its about time for a change

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 06:03:54 PST

i think im breaking out
im going to leave you now
theres nothing for me here
its all the same
and even though i know
that everything might go
go downhill from here
im not afraid

okay so i didnt go to school at all today. and i am feeling so much better.
yes i am. : ) i made a livejournal last night / early this morning. and stuff
i'll be using them both. if you want the link ask me for it and i shall give it
to you. (probably) hmm i want to get out of this house badly. i slept until
1.30 today hah - go me.. now i am awake and rejuvinated and i need to
get out. my dad left and now he is in new mexico.. i want to do something
and get out of here but the only thing any one wants to do is get drunk
and party. im so sick of that. why do people think the only way they can
have fun is to get fucked up. it just makes you act stupid and feel sick
the next day. although i dont know why im whining ive never had a hang
over or felt sick the day - after but still. oh well. guess im just growing
out of that. i need a hug. damnit. i feel very.. useless and worthless and
just plain like the dumbest person on earth. the ground should open up
underneath me and swallow me whole. itd do a lot of good for some people.

arghaljdflakjf

Mon, 22 Mar 2004 08:18:44 PST

lips like sugar
sugar kisses
lips like sugar
sugar kisses
she knows what she knows
i know what she's thinking
sugar kisses
sugar kisses

hmm gimmi some sugar kisses. yes sir ee. i am in a very akward mood. and
ive got no clue where its coming from. ** i just made a wish. yes i did. people
are making kat/cat jokes like whoa. do not fret i will get you back. yes i will.
oh. why am i talking like this. whyyy.. im annoying myself. *smacks head* and
tells self to shutup. hmm i got out of school early. i was mucho tired. went home
and watched Flatliners.. then James and the Giant Peach and i fell asleep and me
mom woke me up for dinner where i ate yummie chicken noodle soup. and here
i am typing to mike. no one else will talk to me. apparently i sound different.
no more kat/cat jokes, please. i feel as if im going to pass out. i need a sneak
out buddy. any one up for the spot.. ahhhhhhhh i have more pics.. gotta put them
on the computer. if you wanna see em ask me : ) laters

iffy-ness was 2days downfall

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 10:55:06 PST

lets take a drive down south
roll down the windows and open our mouths
taste where we are
and play the music loud
stop the car
lay on the grass
the planets spin
and we watch space pass
walk a direction see where we get
i never knew nothin
so theres nothin to forget

oh man.. i had so much funn!!! oh man oh man, yesterday.. first off.. my dad
bought a freakin BMW!! brand fikkin new 2004 330.. ::drool:: ..dad took me
out to eat at Uno's where sister works, she was all smiley and stuff and now
she wants a new car too. first me mum then me dad. she believes it is now her
turn. hah.. yeah. went to me dads work office (he needed to grab papers because
!hes leaving on tuesday!) THEN -this is where the fun begins- me dad dropped me
off at kristins house.. where i stayed the night at.. annnd here is what we did.
we played guitar
talked lots
watched Pirates of the Caribbean
snuck out and walked around
came back
played guitar
conversed with people over the interweb
had out "emo hour" of discussing girls and boys
[- the ones that have their tendancies to confuse us -]
told kristin who i like whew glad to get that out of my system
- i am NOT pregnant by the way -
^-- that comment had nothing to do with who i like either
lol i just had to get that out a/s/a/p
but yeah anywho..
we fell asleep SiDWAYS with our feet handing off the bed
lol we woke up .. once again at the same time
i had a scratch on my hand..
i am one of those people who scratch themselves when having bad nightmares
yeah.. freaky shit there. i dont do that often i almost never do actually
its gotta be a hell of a bad dream
then i made kristin one of my "best omlettes in the world" omlettes
watching her eat that was soo funny she looks as if she was in nirvana
we walked to walmart
saw justin there
he drove us back to kristins
we talked
played guitar
chatted with saRah (apparently her name is spelled with a capital R)
walked to 7-11
her mom didnt have time to drive us to church
so my idea was put on hold - aka its been destroyed because i am dumb
my dad picked me up IN HIS BMW
went home
argued with sister because of my lack of love for ice cream (lol)
sang karaoke!!
i suck
then i had another idea
i hinted at it
iffy-ness sucks
now i feel dumb..
so now i back out
and here i am
feeling like the dumbest person on earth.
yes
that is me
right now

the
dumbest
person
on
earth

ps - my sneezes are going to litraly kill me..........
seriously
if youve seen me sneeze youd know what im talking about
one actually made me fall on my ass at kristins house.. yeah..

pss - if i hear another joke over my name being kat... i will hit... and punch... like crazy... yes i will

::sigh::

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 11:37:34 PST

hug from behind - you like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. you tend to be serious and emotional.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

okay so.. woke up. went to school. those stupid kids at that table are getting their
asses kicked on monday/tuesday (depends). played pool with jess and monique.
monique got out first and then jess killed me. yeah. it was ok. went to watch Taking
Lives. that movie with angelina jolie... ::sigh:: *dreamy eyes* i couldnt take my eyes
off of her.. shes so beautiful. ahh kaldjflksjf then after the movie i was joking to my
parentals about getting me a turtle and they started bitching about how they do so
much shit for me and my sis but we're never happy. well whatever fuck it. they can
never hear my sarcasm they never get any thing i say. they just sit there and
complain about how i act / dress / or about the things that i say. its just really fucking
gay. so they yelled and yelled and instead of going home (where they knew i would
head straight upstairs) they decided to drive around for another half an hour or so
and yell some more. so - right now - im pretty fuckin peeved. if something good
doesnt happen sooner or later some time soon im just guna lose it. im sick of trying
to be happy to get every fuckin one off of my damn back. just fuck you. its useless.

some quizes.. blog entry.. then survey..

Thu, 18 Mar 2004 10:17:33 PST

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a human shadow. If a loved one needs you,
you are always right at his or her heels! Your
deep social connection with human beings
produces your qualities of genuine caring and
charisma. However, at times you are naive to
the true nature of your loved ones. Remember
that humans' gift of free will does not always
lead them in wise directions. But your essence
of love and friendship represent the other
precious gifts of humanity. Overall you are a
strikingly valuable and innocent being who has
a lot to give.

What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

okay so i guess its obvious that ive been bored today. i took more quizes than this
but my computers being mucho retardedness. oh well though s'all good. oh man i
had the perfect suprise thing in my head this morning and by the end of the day at
school i completely just lost it.. arghen. not cool. not cool at all. hmm im excited cus
saturday im staying the night at kristins house. wheeeeeee! : ) you know.. today
has been pretty odd. ive been in the weirdest mood. im upset. about some things.
because.. well.. to face it, ive got some pretty big shit to deal with right now. but yeah.
i cant get some things out of my head and im not happy. not at all. although i havent
told any one about this. they'll just read this and figure it out then but by then i guess
it just wont matter any more. funny how some things work out. hum hum hum i dont
want to go to school 2morrow. if those kids throw another thing towards any one at
my table again i swear i wont hesitate to bitch slap those mother fuckers. ::sigh::
i gotta jet. ive got some stuff to work on, and random other things to uhh yeah.....
heres a survey ( i stole from kristin ) 0: )

001) What time are you starting this?: 8.22 pm
002) Name?: Krystle.. KAT
003) Date of birth?: 10/3/97
004) Sex?: violent fem
005) Height?: I GREW AN INCH!! v.v ..... 5' 1.5"
006) Eye color?: poopie - - hence zee gray contact lenses that BURN
007) Weight?: 110 max i duno really
008) Location?: loserville
009) Birth Location?: where the tumble weeds roll... cheyanne, wyoming
010) Have you ever failed a grade?: v.v ..im dumb like that..
011) If you have, what grade did you fail? sophmore year
012) Do you have crush on someone?: >.> <.< WHO TOLD YOU!! V.v nOoo
013) Do you have a bf/gf?: no sir ee
014) If so, what is their name: - - - - - - -
015) How long have you been together?: - - - - - - -
016) What are you wearing right now?: gray vans hoodie over a black spaghetti, black, SPANDEX pants and monkey socks : )
017) Would you have sex before marriage?: errr
018) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: nah
019) Are you a virgin?: umm :
020) Do you smoke?: maybe a little
021) Do you drink?: possibly like.. one bottle if im with close close friends at a party..
022) Are you ghetto?: keepn it gangster
023) Are you a player?: hahahahah noOoo no one likes me im ugly
024) What are your favorite colors?: white/black/dark red/gray
025) What is your favorite animal(s)?: panthers, tigers, wolves, turtles, ferrets.. i heart aminals
026) Do you have any birthmarks?: nope.. wait.. are freckles birth marks?
027) Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: nope
028) Who is your best friend?: dont have one
029) Have you ever beat someone up?: ... lets just say ive got myself a very hot temper
030) Who do you talk to most on the phone?: me sister? either her or rian
031) Have you ever been slapped? yeah lol
032) Do you get online a lot?: yeah all the time
033) Are you shy or outgoing?: depends
034) Do you shower?: yes (i heart clean-ness)
035) Do you hate school?: nah
036) Do you have a social life?: i have no life
037) How easily do you trust people?: im weird. either a bit too much or not enough
038) Have you ever lied to your best friends?: crusify me already ive apologized a million times
039) Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing? hell yeah
040) Would you ever sky dive?: yeahhhh
041) Do you like to dance?: only if im nekkid.. hahah topless.. yeahhhh good times eh jenn?!
042) Do you like your handwriting? i can live with it
044) What is the compliment you get most from people? somethin about my smile.. or eyes.. or hair. eh.
045) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? down by seventeen.. yeahh
046) What's your biggest fear? getting pregnate
047) Can you sing? i heart singing but i get nervous infront of people
048) You ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? id love to be a female version of the fonz... *cream*
049) Are you a loner? eh there are many ways to answer this one
050) What is your no.? 4
051) If you were another person, would you be friends with who you are now? i would throw things at me
052) Are you a daredevil? i can be. it depends
053) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? dont get me started
054) Are you aggressive or passive? i can be both
055) Have you got a journal? yep
056) What is your greatest strength and weakness? strength - i can eat 20 chicken nuggets, large fries and soup without getting full. weakness - sweet talkers and oh gosh.. the neck.... and the kissing... of the neck....
57) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? im like this for a reason
058) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one would you drink out of? is there a cactus near by?
059) << wha? yes. huh..
060) Do you think you are emotionally strong? im weak as anything
061) Do you live in the moment? occasionaly
062) Do you have any bad habits? not being able to control my feelings
063) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? every one goes away in the end. expect it and it wont hurt as much as long as you know it would be inevitable.
064) What do you like the most about your body? its just like yours and hers and his.. if you prick it with a needle it will bleed
065) And least? my back hurts
066) Do you think you are good looking? im decent
067) Are you confident? eh
068) Have you ever been out of state?: im a military brat
069) Do you like to travel?: yeah
070) Have you ever been expelled from school?: eh
071) Have you ever been suspended from school?: eh
071) Do you want to get out of your hometown?: i am out of my home town
072) ARE YOU SPOILED? not my fault my dads got money
073) Are you a brat?: yeah.. at least i admit it though.. thats gotta count for something..
074) Have you ever been dumped?: hmm yeah a couple / few times.
075) Have you ever gotten high?: yeah but im not trying to boust im not proud of it
076) What's your favorite drink?: incredible hulk was my bitch
077) Do you like Snapple?: yeah
078) Do you drink a lot of water?: no
079) What toothpaste do you use?: i dont know the company but it turns into foam
080) Do you have a cell phone or pager?: i have a cell phone
081) Do you have a curfew?: i think so.. who knows
082) Who do you look up to?: angelina jolie.. beautiful / smart / sexy / determined.. ::sigh::
083) Are you a role model?: no way
085) What name brand do you wear the most?: i duno
086) What kind of jewelry do you wear?: chokers. earings. rings on my right thumb at least. braceletts like whoa some times
087) What do you have pierced?: 10 in my ears soon to have the tongue
088) What do you want pierced?: tongue.. belly button.. eyebrow/nose
089) Do you like taking pictures?: i heart photography
090) Do you like getting your picture taken?: most of the time yeah
091) Do you have a tan?: pshh no
092) Do you get annoyed easily?: yeah
093) Have you ever started a rumor?: possibly i dont know. i try not to.
094) Do you have your own phone/phone line?: my cell phone
095) Do you have your own pool?: nope but my parents have a jacuzzi bath tub
096) Do you have any siblings?: one big sister
097) Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: boxers. yeah..
098) Have you ever been played?: yeah
099) Have you ever played anyone?: im dumb like that too
100) Do you get along with your parents?: eh
102) How do you vent your anger?: violence / cigs.. used to be alcohol
103) Have you ever run away?: yea
104) Have you ever been fired from a job?: nope
105) Do you even have a job?: langly speedway
106) Do you daydream a lot?: all the time
107) Do you have a lot of exes?: ::sigh:: yeah..
108) Do you run your mouth?: more than i should
109) What do you want a tattoo of?: cross / calligraphy on my hip, a band around my wrist that says "Perfer Ed Obdura ; Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim"
110) What do you have a tattoo of?: dont have one yet
111) What are your favorite flowers?: grass
112) What does your ex bf/gf look like?: tall (compared to me) skinnnnny, black hair (spikey), killer eyes. cold hands.
113) What does your most recent crush look like?: so hot.. but oh well theres no use in "crushing"
114) Have you ever been bitched out?: never to my face
115) When was the last time you bitched someone out?: today
116) Are you rude?: way too rude. outspoken. i need to learn to shutup
117) What was the last compliment you received?: woohoo! right now.. 8.58. from matt saying i was pretty : )
118) Do you like getting dirty?: personally i like to be clean
119) Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?: innie
120) Are you flexible?: like whoa
121) What is your heritage?: korean / greek / italian
122) What is your lucky number?: 13.. no joke
123) What does your hair look like right now?: in a pony tail thats falling apart..
124) Could you ever be a vegetarian?: no way
125) When was your last real heartbreak?: ehh... lakfjdkljf lets just say not too long ago
126) Describe your looks? hmm short. korean. always wearing hoodies.
127) If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?: ORANGE-RED
128) Would you ever date someone younger than you?: my ex was younger and so's the guy i like now
129) Would you ever date someone older than you?: yeah im actually used to that more
130) When was the last time you were drunk?: the party..
131) When was the last time you went on a date?: oh man.. uhh a real date? ive never been on one
132) Would you rather give or receive oral sex?: honestly.. recieve.. ive never given or recieved but i think giving would be.. well.. kinda hard to figure out for the first time.
133) Have you ever given?: ^
134) Have you ever received?: ^^
135) Have you ever had an eating disorder?: yeah..
136) Do you have one now?: no way
137) How many rings until you answer the phone?: i duno. until i pick the phone up i guess..
138) Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?: i want to.
139) If yes, when was the last time?: - - - - - -
140) Do you look more like your mother or father?: hmm apparently niether..
141) Do you cry a lot?: too much i need to stop fuckin whining
142) Do you ever cry to get your way?: ?
143) If you had to amputate one limb, what would it be?: left arm [<- - - i agree i guess]
144) What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: "pretty walls" or "sooo... how are you??!"
145) Are you the romantic type? hopeless romantic when it comes right down to it
146) Have you ever been chased by cops?: eh
147) What do you like most about your body?: im pretty flexible
148) What do you like least about your body?: my bad hurts all the time..
150) When was the last time you threw up?: the party..
151) In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: hmm i dont know, cause im not all like "id like him but hes blond!!!!" but i do like black hair..
152) What do the shoes you last wear look like?: black. with heels.
153) Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: yeah
154) What about cleavage? v.v
155) Is your best friend a virgin?: i dont have a best friend
156) Have you ever fucked someone up?: yeah
157) Have you ever been fucked up? no
158) What color are your underwear right now?: not wearing any ; )
159) What theme does your room have?: rasberry-ness in colour.. i duno i just have a bunch of random stuff here and there..
160) What size shoe do you wear?: 6-7
161) What jewelry are you wearing now?: balls choker.. thats it
162) What is your screen name on AIM?: xox Live Si Ome
163) Would you pick a wedgie in public?: sure why not
164) How are you feeling right now?: my back hurts
165) When was the last time you were at a party?: 21st last month. not including the one my mom had with her friends where they all got drunk.
166) Have you ever given a lap dance?: nope
167) What do you sleep in?: nothing... maybe a big shirt sometimes... other times.. nothing
168) Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: pshh yeah
169) What is one of your bad qualities?: im annoying
170) What is one of your good qualities?: ? i can give pretty okay advice i hear..
171) Would you marry for money?: no way
172) What do you drive?: i dont drive
173) Have you ever given or received roadhead?: nope ive got no dick to be given head..
174) Are you more of a mama or daddy's child?: niether
175) What does your lj username mean?: timore = italian for fear
177) When was the last time you cried in school?: today.. i was lonely... : im so pathetic
178) Do you wear Chucks?: i dont own any but i like them
179) For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy?: yeah
180) What time are you finishing this?: 9.11pm

i heart coca cola

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 05:05:44 PST

for the lack of better words to say
all i said was goodnight
once again in self defense
i wont sleep a wink
to prevent dreaming of you

hum hum hum today sucked mucho muchness. my wrist hurts (nooo NOT cause of
stupid things. i didnt do that. it just.. eh.. the muscles or something) any who. me
moms home and i wish she wasnt because i would love to take a walk outside. but
my mom would start asking too many questions. cant the parentals ever just settle
for "taking a walk"? ::sigh:: i made an anti-war poster in graphic arts today and it
sucked whoa-much. AJ got me in trouble today. gosh shes such a.. arghhh i dislike
her oh - so - very - much. umm enough whining im over it. i have a sticker on my
face and i keep forgetting and then feeling my face all like.. tight or something. hah.
im dumb like that. deal with it. i want to watch a movie but ive got nothing i really
want to watch. id watch finding nemo again but im afraid to wear it out too much. if
i did that that would mucho suck. yeah. well im guna jet cause this entry has got
nothing important in it and i just waisted your time. im oh - so sorry.... not....

i want you to want me

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 05:24:22 PST

im sick of always hearing
sappy love songs on the radio
this place its fucking cursed and its plagued
and i can never escape when my heart it explodes
i cant forgive cant forget
cant give in what went wrong
cos you said this was right
you fucked up my life

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh drama drama drama drama
- - - >> ::sigh:: today blew. nothing remotely interesting has happened at all and
im just here being bored. i need to get away from the parentals. im so sick of them
i cant hang out with them for too long i hate it i just want to get awayyyyyyy far far
away. my eyes hurt. stupid contacts. i gotta jet. i neeeeed something to do. i worked
on songs a lot today. speaking of, stephani and i need to hang out soon. maybe this
saturday. we'll see. heh we have a song book now. : ) i made it today at school. oh
man. i already want to make out again. hah. im dumb. dads going out of town. *cheers*

life on the go - go

Mon, 15 Mar 2004 06:47:05 PST

oh when the veil of dreams has lifted
and the fairy tales have all been told
theres a kiss at the end of the rainbow
more precious than a pot of gold

changed the lay out again.. because i felt like it. my other one was annoying
me and i began to not like it any more. yeah.. today was wack. i was happy
but easliy pissed off. i want to fight AJ and i want to punch britt. i almost
quit being editor for the news paper at school but mr. gustin wouldnt let me
he said he really didnt want to lose me on the newspaper. and he actually
admited that he didnt want AJ or Britt to be on editing he only wanted me on
it and thats why he really doesnt want me to quit. soooo im not quiting instead
hes demoting them two and making them somethin like vice/co-editors and
im the main one.. hmm hahahah i cant wait till they find out. AJ will probably
make it all dramatic and cry and britt would.. as usual.. be pissed off. hmm
i was so angry i punched up the walls at school. yeah.. i want to fight AJ. oh
so very badly. if someones got something to say then they can say it to my
face. but no. she says things behind my back and when i confront her she
lies her ass off and tries to pull it off. shes pissing me off saying she works
at a strip club.. im just like wtf - - no one would hire that fatass to work in
their strip club and shes underaged and shes just... ughhh dumb. yeah.. well
enough about AJ im waisting my precious time typing about her. my back is
still all hurting and i dislike it very much. i want to peirce my tongue like whoa.

would you kiss me if i had my tongue peirced?

im awake but craving more

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 10:49:25 PST

maybe im not ready for this
and you know it
maybe im too scared to tell you
what im really thinking
its not fair to stay together
because of regrets we might have
i dont want to fall asleep alone
but do i want to wake up with you
im only trying to be completely honest

okay so today sucked majorly. i woke up happy as could be but then the parentals
called me downstairs just to yell at me. so that put me in a bad mood. i tried to get
away from them and said that i was in a good mood and i should go before i was in
a bad mood and they wouldnt let me go. they just told me to sit down and yelled even
more. so i sat for an hour or two just.. there... zoning out. went to church. larry told
me to go to church tonight too so of course, being my mothers best friends husband
and leader of the whole teen church group thing, i listened to him and went. it was
boring like whoa. hmm guna go. im feeling creative.